A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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9/11

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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womens rights!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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