What time is it? 12:03 AM

Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

you just lost the game!

a black father

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

yo momma is so tall shes tall

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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