Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

thumb_up thumb_down -106

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops