Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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KEVIN HART

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Tacos

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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arse

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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