What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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