What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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minorities

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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