Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Black people are clen.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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