What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a cup?... a cup

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

thumb_up thumb_down +36

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I'm gay. Great me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops