Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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A fish walks into a bar

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Pickle!

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World peace

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops