What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What is a dog? Bark

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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French people

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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