My mom's dead

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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