Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a

thumb_up thumb_down +12

oops

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do u call a hobo name Max Max

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jews for Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops