sweaty black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Don't rape me!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

women leaving the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it? 10:58

thumb_up thumb_down +13

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

thumb_up thumb_down +11

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops