Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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your life

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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