Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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women's rights

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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