Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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a little girl gets raped

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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W.N.B.A.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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