What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

thumb_up thumb_down -31

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -73

3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops