What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

What's not red? No tomatoes.

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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