You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

Indeed.

Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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