If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Haha pizza

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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womens rights!

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Pickle!

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Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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