Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Kookaburra.Tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Windows Vista

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops