A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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W.N.B.A.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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