What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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9:11 make a wish

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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