If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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My sister has to take a dump

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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