what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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come along children

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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