What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops