When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Amputations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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