guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops