Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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knock knock come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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lololololololololol

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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