What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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