Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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