Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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American Idol

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Women's Rights

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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Jasper sucks.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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