how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

thumb_up thumb_down -57

LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -93

If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops