Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

A man walks into a bar.

Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

NEVER

Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

Dear John,

knock knock Come in.

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

Bumsniffer

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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