Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Golf.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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