A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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A ginger rapping.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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Did you know?

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops