What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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WNBA

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Pavel Novak

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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