A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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ur mother

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Golf.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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go go gadget

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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