The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

World peace

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

jewish people like other jewish people.

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

Obamacare!

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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