I've got the moobs like jagger.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

How Long is a Chinese man.

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

why did the chicken cross the road.

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

guess what? chicken butt.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

One Big Ass Mistake America

Knock knock It's open, come in.

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

I LIKE TURLES.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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