What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Noah is Smart.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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