What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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your mother is so lesbian

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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guess what? chicken butt.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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