A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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barack osama

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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