Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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fart

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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whats gay ? you

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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