how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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