Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +18

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This post contains NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

thumb_up thumb_down +12

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops