Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops