Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Knock knock! Yes?

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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What's 6+2? 16

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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lololololololololol

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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