Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

Herman Cain

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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