roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Exactly what?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The glass is half an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

sixty....eight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops