A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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