Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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. Deez nuts Ok

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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PENIS

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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