What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

Women's Golf

Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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