What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is 6 plus 9? 15

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Please don't rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hi my name is? joe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops