two fish are in a tank.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

Icecream

A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

PENIS

"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

you are gay

Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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